“But think of the children!”
The idea of thinking of the children is something I’ve been encouraging in my fellow conservatives regarding this whole California divorcing the United States, or Calexit, thing. I would never waste my time making that sort of appeal to liberals. They don’t care about children anyway. If they did, they would teach them to pray at school instead of trying to kill one another there. And they certainly would not put them up to striking out through thousands of miles of barren wasteland, risking (and also suffering) starvation, thirst, exposure, abduction, rape, and murder, just to then immediately violate the immigration laws of another country. Oops, went off on a tangent. Time for a transfer orbit.
Getting back to certain of my fellow conservatives who were ecstatic over the idea of the Left Coast picking up its 55 marbles (electoral votes) and going home – not to mention the lifting of the immoral tax burden heaved on the rest of our shoulders by the sloth, debauchery, and unchecked crime found out there – I keep trying to convince them that they’re thinking in the short-sighted long-term. Sure, it would be nice for the demwits to never be able to secure another presidential election, but we have to think about the price we would pay in the super short-term. And that’s where the children come in.
In many an occurrence of divorce, there is a less-than-God-fearing parent who makes the executive decision to corrupt and manipulate the children. So after carefully analyzing the mindlessness of the average Left Coast office holder, I have arrived at a rock solid determination of just what they would do with the children. Please consider the following list, and see if you agree.
Child #1: San Francisco Bay
The libtards, facing total economic ruin in the immediate wake of a successful Calexit yet still in warp-drive pursuit of progressive international relations, would not hesitate to lease San Francisco Bay to the Chicoms (Chinese communists) for use as a major naval base hosting all manner of surface, sub-surface, and airborne nuclear-capable PLA Navy assets. How ya think that would make the good folks in Phoenix feel. Heck, forget about Phoenix, what about Washington D.C., NYC, Philadelphia, Boston, and Mayberry?
Child #2: San Diego Bay
This is the Park Place, the bridesmaid, the best the Russians would have been able to do after losing in a bidding war to the Chinese over Boardwalk. That said, they would have been more than happy to move the Russian Pacific Fleet from Vladivostok to San Diego. Our only hope: that the Russians and Chinese, due to dangerous proximity, would reach critical mass and destroy each other before shooting at us.
Child #3 MCAGCC (Marine Corps Air Ground Combat Center) Twentynine Palms
Easy: this would be the perfect environment for either an ISIS, Al-Qaeda, or Taliban combined training and operational base or maybe an unprecedented ISIS/Al-Qaeda/Taliban joint base. Either way, they wouldn’t have any trouble coming up with the money for the lease. It would simply come from the Saudis, Iranians, or Qataris. Or better still, one or all would buy into the lease and sub-let to their favorite terrorist group. And we buy oil from these clowns?
Children #’s 4, 5, and 6: Edwards Air Force Base, NAWS (Naval Air Weapons Station) China Lake, and Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton
“It’s perfect for us” (Sal Tessio, The Godfather, 1972). That’s what the Russians would be saying, and jubilantly so, after counting out the rest of their Monopoly money for this combo deal. Between their multiple multi-mile length runways and remote location, the Russians would end up dumbing down Edwards and China Lake by simply using them to host massive air assets on the North American Continent. As far as Camp Pendleton is concerned: massive armor and infantry consolidation point. The Russians would be salivating at the possibility of using the American southwest as a 21st Century Fulda Gap, after passing through which they could spread out in a multi-pronged attack through the heartland and south only to link up later for a powerful main thrust into the northeast. And they would be supported by the previously mentioned air assets the whole way. Those could easily move up with the ground forces, continually forward deploying to every major airport or military airbase they take along the way.
Children #’s 7 & 8: Vandenberg and Beale Air Force Bases
The Chicoms would scrape up the funds somehow to get these two properties. Vandenberg has rocket launch facilities galore that would be appropriately exploited by the Chinese space program. And after our PAVE PAWS early warning radar system at Beale gets turned off, we’ll be totally blind to a Chinese first strike from their ballistic missile submarines that will have staged with impunity off our former west coast. Or maybe the first strike will be masked as a missile test at Beale. Your guess is as good as mine.
Child #9 Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory
Remember all of that cold cash that old floppy ears sent to the Iranians? They would use that plus the requisite number of oil tankers showing up at refineries in the San Francisco Bay area plus selling their own daughters to the heads of Mexican drug cartels in order to put this little lady in their harem. C’mon, they design nuclear warheads at LLNL. “Oh, wonderful. We have to get these two together” (Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters, 1984).
Child #10 The Good Guys
You might recall when I wrote, “There are actually some good people out there, many more than just Lot and his wife,” back in my post “Many a Liberal Tweak Makes America Weak.” So would they be expelled, made to perform forced labor, be sent to re-education camps, or simply eliminated? “Eliminated, don’t you mean KILL?” (Petrovich, Force 10 from Navarone, 1978). Maybe some of us good guys this side of the Left Coast Curtain could pull an Argo to get them out.
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All right, now for the bad news. This whole dangerously close to reality scenario is actually the amicable divorce rendering. The messy divorce version is a good deal scarier. It would involve more than just the newly formed Peoples Republic of Independent California Kommunes (or, PRICK for short) nationalizing U.S. Government property along with the concomitant mass expulsion of U.S. Government personnel.
For instance, think about what what would occur in an outright fire sale of the former 31st state. Its new owners, Gavin Newsom, Diane Feinstein, Kamala Harris, et al., undoubtedly would exercise the involuted fine print in whatever sham constitution, charter, or manifesto they dreamed up and use it to sell their ill-gotten real estate windfall to one or more well heeled buyers. So whether it ended up being the Chicoms, Ruskies, or various magic carpet riders, or a combination thereof involving a partitioning of territory, the new-new owners certainly would be getting an all-inclusive deal. That would equate to the entire California economy going to foreign interests. And that would include but not be limited to agriculture, banking, technology (Silicon Valley), petroleum, former U.S. Military bases, etc.
But how would the new owners exercise such total control over these hard assets so as to profit from them? That’s easy. They would do it the old fashioned way. They would build a wall (The Left Coast Curtain) in order to keep people in. That’s an example of an immoral wall, Nancy, just in case you wanted to know. Keeping working folks prisoner is how oppressive governments prevent turnover.
As for the scientists and engineers who staff Silicon Valley and the many private and government research labs, the new owners would throw money at them. After all, that’s how foreign powers historically have achieved espionage success. It’s not like they ever developed the skill to silently flow like the fog in and out of supposedly secure buildings and their file cabinets and hard drives the way our people have. They must have read Spying for the Hamfisted instead of Spying for Dummies.
At any rate, the bad guys would quickly funnel the names of smart people into one of two files so that they can distinguish between Judas and Joe Friday. They’ll buy off Judas, and if Joe Friday didn’t get outta Dodge yet, we’ll somehow have to include those good folks in the Argo plan.
Oh, and here are a couple of children I might have left out. Any worthwhile environmental policies that California had would be instantly abandoned, and carbon emissions from factories, power plants, and non-CAFE standard vehicles would go right off the charts. And if you think there would be a single redwood tree left standing, then you’re probably the type who would have Bill Cosby, Bill Clinton, Matt Lauer, and Harvey Weinstein escort your daughter to the prom.
Okay, I know things are getting a little verbose, so just hang with me for this last scenario: THE FAKE DIVORCE. That’s right, fake. Libs will do anything for attention or especially money. They’re like the Bizarro World-Black Mass version of capitalism. They’ll do anything and sell anyone for a buck. What if their Calexit were actually an op within an op? Then the whole purpose would be to force the U.S. Government to roll in on them full force in order to prevent an illegal secession. Just prior to that, though, a good deal of California’s cities would be disemboweled by wanton acts of “rape, murder, arson, and rape” (Blazing Saddles, 1974). And just as “You never want a serious crisis to go to waste” (Rahm Emanuel), the Calexit leaders would be quick to blame impending U.S. Government intervention for the widespread destruction and mayhem. They would follow that with an all too convenient announcement of a Calexit failure along with the widely broadcast expectation that the U.S. will foot the bill to rebuild California. Protests in support would be organized in major U.S. Cities, and the demwits in Congress would effectively absolve the leaders of Calexit so that they’re still available for future work.
So where would all this leave us? Nicely nestled in the dirty bosom of the Cloward-Piven Strategy, that’s where. And Saul Alinsky would be laughing all the way from hell at an overwhelmed system by way of a manufactured crisis.
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Calexit: BAD NEWS
