“Don’t believe any false rumors, unless you hear them from me.” — New Orleans Mayor Vic Schiro

Er, well, it makes sense if you think really hard about not thinking too hard about it.  The important thing is that it was said by the last good mayor that the City of New Orleans had.  And now I have to come forth myself and clear up a rumor that has been going around.

It is being widely reported that I own a Trumpy Bear.  So I am going to clear up that rumor right here and now.  OF COURSE I OWN A TRUMPY BEAR!  What sort of honest, decent, exorbitantly taxed conservative wouldn’t own one?!  And by the way, I love my Trumpy Bear and take very good care of him.  Whenever it’s time to put on the Barry White music, my wife and I very responsibly remove him from the bedroom for the requisite three or four, or six hours, or however long it – well, you get the picture.

Another thing, I have a bone to pick with Edna Mode and her whole “No capes!” thing.  One of the best character traits of my Trumpy Bear is his American Flag cape that can be unfurled from the zipper compartment located on his back.  I keep it out at all times.  And besides, the empty compartment makes a great place to keep spare mags.

Lastly, Thurston Howell III snuggled with a stuffed bear, and he was greatly respected and admired by all those on the island.  So if the libs have a problem with it, they can just go snuggle with their misery, trans-misery, and government subsidized misery.

Special disclaimer: This is not a paid advertisement.  All previous statements have been made because I love my Trumpy Bear.