“Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.” — Mark Twain

Let’s face it, Twain had it right on all points there, my fellow conservatives.  We suffer fools certainly on a daily basis.  And never will there exist a way to suffer them well.  That’s simply the burden we bear for being smarter and more patriotic than liberals.  What is unfortunate, however, is that there is not a whole lot we can do about them in a “direct action” sense.  That is, there is not a whole lot we can do without reducing ourselves to their level of indignity or, frankly, ending up in jail.  However, I have made an amazing discovery recently.  It might not be a cure for disease, but it is nearly as beneficial.  And I want to share it with you.

My discovery concerns a remedy not for the fools without but for the ones within.  In other words, strangers can sue us or press charges.  But family cannot.  And I now know of a way to deal with the full-fledged family fools in our lives.  Being that their dysfunctional behavior is unwavering and easily observable, simply wait until they are within visual range, and then call the NTSB (National Transportation Safety Board).  For that, my fellow conservatives, is the federal agency to which we have a civic duty to report train wrecks.

Problem solved.