“You look mahvelous!” — Fernando Lamas or Billy Crystal, no one really knows
Time to back track for a moment. Time to talk about the Melania Safari. I wouldn’t call it old news. It’s just news I didn’t have a moment to comment on at the time. During her visit to Africa, Melania Trump did not just look “mahvelous,” she also looked fabulous, stunning, sophisticated, and above all, appropriate.
Quick disclaimer: I know how this is starting to sound, and in the following paragraphs I will even be commenting on women’s fashions. However, I want to assure you that I’m a totally normal guy. I simply believe in giving credit where credit is due, and I am not some Gianni Versace.
Outstanding, let’s proceed.
The only thing that could possibly have improved her perfect ensemble of pith helmet, leather safari boots, and serene countenance would have been her embrace of a .300 magnum rifle. (Come on, Mr. President, buy your wife a well made safari rifle.)
The pith helmet, let’s talk about that for a moment. The jealous libby-left attempted to cite her head wear as a symbol of imperial oppression. Not surprising as the left makes expectedly liberal use of non sequitur as the main building block of their daily ad hominem arguments. Though, let’s just dabble for a moment in factual arguments, the kind that can cause “total protonic reversal” (Ghostbusters, 1984) in liberals. For some time now, on especially sunny and hot days, the mail lady (USPS letter carrier) who delivers to my office has been wearing a white pith helmet just like the one seen on FLOTUS. She happens to be African American, not that it should matter to anyone but liberals who cling to identity politics. So I decided to ask her one day how she liked it, and she replied that it was a real favorite of hers. Then, I inquired as to whether it was a mandatory uniform item. She said no, that although it was an official USPS uniform item, it was still optional. Wow, imagine that, umpteen lady letter carriers out there in the good ‘ole US of A stepping out just like the First Lady. And the liberal news media has the nerve to go all mean girls on her. Shame, shame.
It would be nice if they would just admit it: the woman has grace. And I don’t mean “some grace” like the character of Elaine Benes on Seinfeld (Seinfeld, Episode no. 87, 1994). We’re talking about total grace, absolute grace, unmitigated grace – the whole enchilada. She embraced those children in Africa just like they were her own, with the kind of sincerely nurturing effort that cannot be faked.
To the liberals: it’s your reputation – not that you have much of one – but you might want to lay off the first lady. She’s out there not only looking good but also doing good.
